Control
Being able to let go of something, in part, comes from being able to let go of Control. It’s accepting that there are some things that you just can’t control, no matter how much you want or try to.
To me, the idea of not being in control of something, of my destiny, is absolutely terrifying.
The Healing Stage
For me, healing is about noticing the patterns that have been in place since I was very young and reconciling how I was supposed to act with how I truly felt, in a way that allows me to move forward without projecting my unconscious biases onto others. It’s about finding confidence in myself and learning to trust myself to make the decisions that are right for me.
Why Attraction is Choice
We are capable of choice and it’s a responsibility that we rarely hold ourselves accountable for. Choose to live, choose to die. Choose to stay in, choose to go out. Choose to hate, choose to love. Choose to make life a great adventure or choose to let it fall flat. Choose, choose, choose. I’ve said choose so many times I almost feel like I’m about to board a train. And what is love, if not a train that we can board or alight at many stations.
What kind of ticket will you buy?
Love or Just in Love With it?
Ask yourself whether what you’re looking for is a grand experience or someone to pass the time. Is it out of longing or out of confidence? Are you confident in who you are or aren’t you? These aren’t hard to answer, but it’s bloody difficult to get to the answer you need.
It’s the difference between Love and Ego.
It’s the difference between being Alone and being Lonely.
Accepting the Expiration Date
As a result, I live by the rule of the expiration date: the understanding that there is a fixed time limit that cannot or should not be exceeded. At some point, it will become necessary to end things.
Regardless of good times, strong connections or, of course, love, it is understood between both parties that things will end. It's not a cold process. It's something that comes from understanding one another, the environment, the situation and the moment in time. It's painful, certainly, but it's something that is almost necessary to maintain sanity.
You need to embrace rejection, seriously. (Updated)
Every time I have made the decision to move forward, in success or failure, I have learned and experienced more joy than I could have ever dreamed of than if I had made the choice to make no choice at all.
And so my observation is this. Embrace rejection. Embrace it.
Hearing the truth about the one who got away
In the meantime, you tell yourself whatever story you need to, that you can hold onto, that you can build your hopes on, with the idea that maybe over time, or one day, you can change their mind and they will see the light at last… but still the truth remains the same: they just aren’t as invested in the same future that you see.
You’re Alone, and that’s okay (updated)
Ultimately, you are the pioneer of your life.
You are the protagonist of your adventure.
Take the time to find out who you are and what you love. Learn about your flaws and for all the ones you might have, learn to love each of them.
They are you.
