Why Attraction is Choice
Note: This blog post was originally posted in 2016 under my old blog, which has since been deactivated. This was one of the most popular narratives I’d written and I wanted to re-share it here for all of you because I still believe that a lot of these ideas remain relevant today.
Note: I’ve refreshed my old writing style for some new thoughts, trimmed for wordiness and removed links to posts no longer live, and edited for any typos. Hope you all enjoy.
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I’m not a control freak, but I am patient.
The dynamics of human interaction aren’t the most complicated thing in the world. I know we like to think that we’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but, sorry to break it to you, bread is better.
“How unromantic!” you must be thinking, but see, it’s easy to think we’re the centre of the universe and perhaps in a surrealist world we can say that we are. However, it’s important to know that as individuals there’s not much that sets us apart, really.
Here is something that does: Choice. We have the ability to choose.
We are capable of choice and it’s a responsibility that we rarely hold ourselves accountable for. Choose to live, choose to die. Choose to stay in, choose to go out. Choose to hate, choose to love. Choose to make life a great adventure or choose to let it fall flat. Choose, choose, choose. I’ve said choose so many times I almost feel like I’m about to board a train. And what is love, if not a train that we can board or alight at many stations.
What kind of ticket will you buy?
You can choose a love that’s a first-class adventure or you can choose to hop around from third-class cart to third-class cart. Both are absolutely fine as long as you understand what you’re signing up for. Attraction IS a choice because we make the choice to love ourselves for who we are or we choose not to! We choose to be aware of what it is we deserve or what’s simply available.
It’s not about arrogance and it’s not about belittling or looking down on others. It’s about loving all the quirks and all the strengths. Both are important.
It’s about being comfortable with who you are and yet striving to be better. It’s about knowing what your values are and letting them shine with all your might so that you can attract people who love you for them. I mean, think about the word itself, the word attract means to bring others in.
It’s not a synonym for finding yourself in others, nor is it one for fitting into the mold of another person’s view of world.
It all boils down to our choices because the reality is that we avoid making choices for as long we can, which leaves us only with what chooses us. That doesn’t always mean it’s the best thing for us, does that make sense?
Now, let me ask you this:
Are you willing to make a choice?
Are you willing to choose yourself?
Are you willing to choose what makes you happy?
Until you can answer with a definitive YES! then I’m sorry, but you will find it very hard to find your happiness.
You must make a choice and, if love is your objective, choose to love yourself first.
The rest will follow.
